Critical thinking skills for your emotions

What did you learn about emotions? Most of us grew up hearing very negative things about emotions, such as: “Big boys don’t cry. There’s nothing to be afraid of! You shouldn’t feel angry! Boredom means you have no imagination! Envy is a sin!” And so on. Instead of being taught helpful things about our emotions, most of us were just shamed about them. Most of us … Read More

Emotional Flow!

Learn to Access the Healing Genius in Your Emotions  Starts Monday, December 9th at Empathy Academy 8 weeks – $165 Your emotions — all of them — are vital to your intelligence, your social skills, and your ability to understand yourself and the world around you. Each of your emotions has a specific purpose, and each emotion brings you a unique set of gifts, skills, and … Read More

Empathy and Self-Care — an online course at Empathy Academy!

Empathy is not a soft skill — it’s a vital skill The quality of your empathy — for yourself and others — can mean the difference between just getting through life and thriving in difficult times.  Tending your world without losing yourself Whether you realize it or not, your empathy and your emotions are always working on behalf of you and your relationships. When you understand … Read More

Deep emotions and the racist bones

When Joe Biden, a powerful, wealthy, white man who wants to preside over a country built on the backs of enslaved people, said “There’s not a racist bone in my body,” I thought so much about the strangely dislocated and disembodied nature of racism here in the United States. I’ve come to see racism as a haunted, unwanted, and unclaimed entity that has no home and … Read More

Building Empathy and Equity

A retreat intensive with Karla McLaren and Jonathan McRay Friday, August 23rd to Sunday, August 25th in Harrisonburg, Virginia Emotional healing for racial justice Talking about or confronting racism and inequality can bring up powerful emotions like shame, rage, panic, grief, and despair. And since most of us don’t know how to work with even one of these emotions, it’s not surprising that this emotional cascade … Read More

The Positive Benefits of Swearing … Really!

Personal confession: I love to swear. I developed my freaking excellent swearing habit when I worked as a radio newscaster. On the air, I and everyone at the station had to have perfect manners, perfect diction, and perfect timing while we ran our engineering boards, cued up tapes and CDs, and monitored the clocks. We absolutely could not swear while we were on the air (the … Read More

Is it empathy or projection? Ten ways to know.

Can you read the emotions of others, or are you simply projecting your own emotions? The answer to this question isn’t simple, but there are ways to tell the difference, and ways to develop your empathic abilities and accuracy so that you’re not simply projecting your own emotional state at others. Ten possibilities to explore Sometimes, people will tell you that an emotion you sensed isn’t … Read More

Quiz: How to Know If You’re an Empath

Hello! After studying empathy and emotions for four decades, I’ve developed a very simple and accurate way to tell if you’re an empath. Are you ready to find out? Karla McLaren’s Amazingly Accurate Quiz for Empaths Question 1: Are you breathing? Yes/No (choose one) Yes? You’re an empath. No? Take a breath and start over at Question 1. (spoiler alert) Congratulations! You’re an empath! That’s a … Read More

Learning to Value Your Anger

How does anger work? In my work with emotions, I identify what’s happening when people feel specific emotions. For instance, when we say we’re angry, what is occurring? What are the situations that call forth an anger response and how does the anger address what’s happening? How does anger support or impede us, and what is anger’s purpose? Over the decades, I’ve asked that question of … Read More

Understanding Unhealthy Influence

Escaping Utopia (Routledge, 2017), which I co-authored, tells the stories of 65 people from 39 different cults in more than a dozen countries. My co-author, sociologist Janja Lalich, PhD, is an internationally renowned expert on cults, indoctrination, extremist groups, and terrorist groups, and she is a cult survivor. So am I. Janja knows cults from the inside out, and she shows that a cult is simply a … Read More

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